Mama Knows Best

I have procrastinated long enough this week when it comes to school work, so tonight I am finally beginning the research on a 5 page ethics paper due Sunday by 11pm. Sunday being a week from today, of course. Maybe my procrastination is not all that bad, but seriously- who waits until a week before the assignment is due in my condition? I chose to write about stem cell research and am slowly wishing I would have come up with a better topic, oh well. On top of that 5 page ethics paper due, I also have a Chemistry test to take on Tuesday evening. I have been slowly studying for that test, but also avoiding it like the bubonic plague.

Life has just been extremely stressful these past few days, but mostly because I am letting little things control me that I shouldn’t. I am stressed about finances, which seems to be a big topic lately in my household as well as everyone’s, I’m sure. It just feels like we are suffocating all the time and I hate that feeling. We are trying very hard to eliminate our debts, but things come up constantly- mostly having to do with my Aztek or medical bills.

Before the end of this month, I need to come up with $160.00 for our health insurance, $231.87 for our auto insurance, $33.00 for renters insurance, $119.00 to get tags for our truck and of course, the infamous hospital photos I would like to have taken of Addison.  Let me not forget that my car needs repairs again.  The window fell the other day, shredding the window regulator.  I am not positive how much this part will cost, but I do know that we just don’t have the extra money for the repair this month and may not until after the first of the year, unless it is reasonably priced and I am able to scrounge up some money.  I won’t even tell you about our medical expenses due to the craptastic insurance we had through Jeff’s previous employer.  We thought we were finally paid down, only to realize we owe his pediatrician’s office a few hundred more dollars.  Luckily they are working with us and accepting whatever payments we are able to make at the moment.  I don’t know what we would do without our amazingly understanding pediatrician’s office.  They have been very good to us over the past 2 years!

I am trying very hard to do everything I can online to make money, but am falling short. My website is just not popular enough to do work with any major paid posting companies, therefore I am not having much luck.  I love PayU2Blog, but do not usually get more than $25 dollar per payout and while it helps, it is just is not enough.  I have even started doing posts again for PayPerPost to try and earn some extra money, but not getting many ops that way either.  Any helpful hints on making money would be wonderful people, absolutely wonderful.  I have considered auctioning things on eBay, but need some major help in that department.  I have hundreds of items that can be auctioned off, I am just not good with product descriptions or pricing.

Why is it that October, November and December are always my most stressful months? Granted December brings Christmas, which also brings the whole spending money thing. January and February are usually when things start looking up for us again financially, but it just bites the big one to have to wait until it happens.  I am not looking forward to the winter months this year though because of the rise in heating and electric.  How can any of our politicians expect the economy to get better when they keep strangling us with rising food prices, natural gas prices and electricity?

I know fuel prices are currently down, but how long will it last?  I literally chose my class schedule based off of gas prices.  I do not enjoy taking classes online because Ethan usually does not allow me much time to work on my assignments, but this semester I had no choice in order to cut down on gas usage.  I will be taking all of my classes online next semester so that I only have to drive a couple of minutes one way to drop Ethan off with Granny so that I am able to study/go to class.

I am very sorry for all this nonsense rambling, but these issues are weighing very heavily on my mind.  And before you all get motherly on me- I know that stress is not good for me or the baby.  I do know that and am trying very hard to shrug it off and deal with things as they come.  I just feel helpless, absolutely helpless.  I am only venting to you because I am afraid that if I vent to Jeff, I’ll make him feel as though he is not doing enough and that he needs to pick up a second job (again).  And I do not want my husband feeling less than adequate because he is an amazing man.  Plus, the last time he attempted working two jobs he became burned out and actually missed a day from his primary employer.

Things will get better and we’ll continue plucking along, little by little.  We will make things work, we always do.  I just need to learn to roll with the punches, like I used to.  Once this baby pops out and I recover, it is very likely I will become the optimistic spouse again.  I am ending this for now, but I am positive this is not the last you’ll hear from me on these issues.