Putting on my big girl panties.
Waking up in the mornings has been a struggle lately. I am no where near feeling depressed, just overwhelmed by everything– work, classes, house work, finances and sickness. You know how they say when it rains it pours? Well, it’s pouring drops the size of soft balls in our neck of the woods. And this really is not a pity party, feel sorry for me kind of post. It is my way of venting, I suppose.
I find myself being spread thin in all aspects of my life. Work? Yeah, I have been spreading myself thin here because I have found myself in “survivor” mode. Jeff’s paychecks are not great and without the little bit of extra income I bring in, we would be sinking. I know this is only a temporary situation, as he’s still in training, but our financial struggles have been a major blow to our guts for the better of the past two years. To make our financial struggles more exciting, the transmission went out in my Escape this past week. I would ask “what’s next?” except I am afraid to know the answer.
And the icing on our cake? Sickness flooding both sides of the family lately. Of course you all know about my father’s bypass that took place two weeks ago, my grandmother is in the hospital with rectal bleeding or sorts and my mother in-law’s possible cancer diagnosis. Her OB/GYN believes he discovered a malignant tumor in her breast last Friday, while removing another lump for biopsy. Tomorrow we will find out if his initial diagnosis is correct, then we will go from there and begin researching our options. My mother in-law will be looking into alternative treatments to battle the cancer, as she is scared of chemotherapy and radiation.
We have already gathered a bunch of information on alternative remedies such as raw food diets, herbs vitamins and specialists she can consult with in state and out of state. My mother in-law has also looked into travel health insurance in case we need to go out of state for some assistance. We are prepared for whatever outcome is thrown our direction and praying for guidance.
Growing up, I would never have imagined how hard adult life would be. From the outside looking in, adult life looked fun and easy. Was I ever wrong about that one! In our eleven years together, Jeff and I have endured more than some, but much less than others. Every hurdle we have avoided, jumped over or that has knocked us down has shaped us into the people we are today and has only proven how strong we are when we work together. As my father says, “this too shall pass.”
