Mama Knows Best

Sometimes the hardest part about life is admitting defeat and breaking another person’s heart. Saturday was my day of admittance, in which I told Jeff our separation was going to be permanent. I set the paperwork on my bed and went outside to entertain the kids while he collected the majority of his things. For months, I have struggled with the decision. Do I divorce him? Do I keep trying to make things work? How do I make things work? And then after a long (unbiased) discussion Friday evening with a very good friend, I made my choice.

Saturday was the day and it was an ugly one. Jeff was hurt, upset, confused and genuinely pissed off. After several hours, he calmed down and called to apologize for his behavior. We discussed the divorce. We discussed custody and child support. It was a pleasant conversation, but very awkward. He picked the kids up yesterday morning to take them to his parents house to celebrate birthday’s. When he dropped the kids off with me last night, he seemed calm. Like maybe he knew this was coming and maybe this was something he wanted/needed too.

I feel like a huge weight as been lifted from my shoulders and that I can finally breathe again. I can live for myself and make myself happy once again. I’ll be completely broke, but I will make things work. I will manage. After all, I have been looking for jobs like a mad lady.