Mama Knows Best

Tonight I may very well have reached my breaking point when it comes to my sister.  Everything with her has to be a competition.

My parents had to put their dog down this afternoon.  It is definitely a sad day for my parents and probably one of their harder days.  When I mentioned something to my sister on the phone this evening she immediately got upset with me.  I had no idea that she knew nothing about it and rather than be sad for my parents, she chose to play the victim card yet again.  Just because our parents had not said anything to her does not give her the right to pull that card.

Every idea I have, every move I make.. she’s always there lurking in the background to try to steal my thunder.  During my pregnancy with Ethan, I made it clear that my children would have four names- their first, two middles and a last name.  I had specific people in mind when I named my children and to do so, I would have to give them two middle names.  None of my siblings ever made an effort to name their children after our parents, let alone our grandparents.  Before Ethan, my father had three grandsons.  Out of those three boys, no one even attempted to name their son after him.  When I chose to use my Dad’s name as one of Ethan’s middle names it literally became a big deal.  My sister felt as though I was trying to “win” the favorite child part in our family.  Really?  How about the fact that our father, who is not even my biological father, just means that much to me?  The man did not have to step up to the plate and be my father.  He chose to be my father and is one of the greatest men I know.  It’s funny though, the not being biologically related part though, as I am like him in so many ways.  I named my son after him because he is one of the greatest men I know and love.  And then Addison came.  I wanted her to be named after to very important people in our lives- my mother and her great-grandmother (Jeff’s grandmother).  My sister, who has two other children, decided that with her daughter, she wanted to do as I did and name her daughter after two people she felt were important in her life.  An idea she never had until my children were born.  In fact, I remember her complaining a long time ago about people giving their children two middle names and yet she did it herself.

She gets extremely upset when her daughter, who is two years younger than the other two granddaughter’s, does not get the exact same things as the other girls.  Really?  How about being appreciative for everything she does get?  Or take into consideration that our parents are purchasing things completely age appropriate and relevant to her age?

When her daughter was still in utero, she decided to decorate her daughter’s nursery with fairies and butterflies.  I was all for that idea, as I love fairies and butterflies.  To help aide in her decor, I purchased a beautiful wall decal of a fairy for her daughter’s nursery.  When the decal did not arrive in a timely manner (according to her standards), she bitched and moaned about how I probably did not even purchase the decal for her.  When the decal did arrive, I did not receive a phone call of thanks.  No.  Instead, I received a phone call complaining that it was the wrong color and that the decal was smaller than she wanted.

And lastly, this past weekend while she was here visiting, she asked me about Addie’s window treatments and the curtain hanging above her bed.  When I told her where I had purchased them, she said something about purchasing those very items for her own daughter.  Yes, I was flattered by the fact that she liked them that much, but why not come up with your own idea?  Why not be a little more original?  Do you always have to copy the things I do?

It would take an eternity to write everything out– all the selfishness, the pity parties, the competitions, etc.  But I had to get it off my chest before I completely blew up on her.  Maybe I am being to harsh or too cynical, but it is getting old.  Very, very old.  I am sick of this sick, twisted competition she has placed herself in with me.  I am tired of the pity card she likes to play when she doesn’t get her way.  She is my sister and I love her, but enough is enough already.  You’re thirty-six years old.  It’s time to grow up and pull your head out of your ass.

A good friend of the family flew down to Mexico this past weekend to get married.  I am ecstatic that she found someone, as everyone deserves to be happy.  What threw me through a loop though was that her husband convinced her to buy gold online to make custom wedding bands.  Such a sweet gesture, but yet still sketchy.  For those who know me personally, you know my feelings on purchasing things other than clothing online, especially expensive items.  You can probably see where this is going, can’t you?  Things did not end well.  They spent a decent chunk of change on gold that turned out to be gold plated and lost their asses on the deal.  I’m saddened for them, but at the same time, I hope they learned a lesson about the internet.  Not all companies are legit– do your homework first.

Words that I never thought would be uttered from my lips were that Jeff and I were going to try and work things out. After nearly two years of being apart and having a good, healthy friendship, we have talked about trying again. It may not be the best idea we have ever had, but it is something we are going to work hard at.  We’ve made goals, plans and set expectations.  It’s going to be a long, bumpy road, but we are going to try.

Truth be told- we have both grown up immensely during our time apart and for the past month or two things have been going well.  We are not going to rush into things (like getting remarried) .  Jeff and myself have agreed to continue attending marital counseling (we have been seeing one for over a month now) and visit with separate counselors to help us sort out our own demons.  Our relationship this time around is healthier and we are hoping to keep it that way.  When it’s time to make the decision on whether to get remarried, we will be better equipped to make that decision.