Archive for the ‘Health & Safety’ Category
Friday, July 23rd, 2010 |
I think I’m drowning
Can someone lend a hand?
Can someone save me?
Cause I don’t think I can.
~ Drowning, Saving Abel
I do not even know where to begin with this post, so I’ll just begin. Today was a very low point for me. And by low, I mean, laying in bed sobbing like a baby. Some of the thoughts running through my head scared the shit right out of me and thus began my search for some help. Or at least the thought of getting help. I am scared out of my mind. I never thought I would hit such a low point in my life, but I was wrong. And lately, I’ve been wrong an awful lot.
It is not so much the divorce bothering me because quite frankly, the divorce leaves me feeling liberated in a sense. I feel as though I can conquer the world now that I am free from him. It is the stress of looking for a job, having to ask for help and face my past mistakes. My mistakes are not something I am proud of and I was not deserving of the consequences of them, but it is there and I have to deal with it’s aftermath.
My kids have watched me hit rock bottom and for me, that has been the hardest part. Which is why I am in the process of getting help. I need help to pick up all the pieces, to get my head on straight and to figure out where to go next. First up, meeting with a counselor and an attorney. The counselor for obvious reasons, but the attorney is to help me correct one of my past mistakes. Here’s to hoping that the next couple of months begin looking better.
Posted in Health & Safety, Jeff & Jessica | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 15th, 2010 |
Although it is only Wednesday, I feel compelled to call this the worst week in a long time. My moods have been all over the place as of late and while it was to be expected, I certainly did not anticipate it being like this. Getting a divorce was my decision and though the timing was not perfect, it was something that could not be avoided. So here I sit, diligently trying to find a way to make things better for the kids and myself. Do I leave school on the back burner and find a full-time job or do I try to juggle the kids, school and working full-time? Do I work part-time? All of the anxiety and stress I am feeling right now has nothing to do with the kids or the divorce, but rather the financial position I am in.
Other things have happened to make this week one for the books, but until my divorce is final, some things just cannot be repeated. And some of those things, oh goodness gracious, how I cannot wait to be able to share them with you and ask for opinions. Some of my “secrets” are not really secrets from those around me, but rather for those of you who do not know me offline. Is that messed up or no? I want to share with you all the one thing keeping me from falling to pieces right now and it pains me to have to keep so much of my life a secret for now. So for now, I will keep dreaming about fitness equipment being delivered to my home so that I can take out all of my frustrations on the treadmill. God knows of all the help I need these days.. and is it ever a tall order.
In case I forgot to update again, for weeks at a time, please promise me you will all have a fabulous weekend.
Posted in Health & Safety | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 |
Almost two years ago, I gave birth to Addison. Two years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything in my power to lose weight and take better care of myself. Sadly, I have broken that promise to myself several times, but I slowly making progress to get on track. Which y’all have heard me say before, but it is different this time around. I have made a conscious effort to take control over my portion sizes. I have steered clear of the prescription fat burners that some of my friends have tried and witness work wonders. And right now, my biggest push for being healthier would be the kids. They have been through so much lately and I do not want something to happen to me because of my irresponsible behaviors (regarding my weight/health). So many loved ones have passed recently from things that may have easily been prevented due to a change in their lifestyle. Getting healthy is weighing on my heart terribly right now and is something I know I must face.
Posted in Health & Safety | No Comments »
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 |
Some how over the course of the summer, I have managed to lose weight. I am not necessarily doing anything special to lose the weight, but I have managed to drop down two sizes. To celebrate my weight loss and thank me for watching their dog, my parents took me on a mini shopping spree last Friday. Where I indulged myself in several dresses, two skirts, some tops and new under garments. So how in the world did I manage to lose the weight without the help of apidexin, dieting or exercising? Simple. I finally figured out that if I monitor the amount of food I shovel into my face… I may actually lose some weight! Genius, right? While I may have my portions under better control, I still need to work on not eating so unhealthy and maybe no more drinking on the weekends? Pretty sure those four-five beers on Saturday evenings may contribute to the belly. Just sayin’. Anyway- I am feeling more comfortable in my own body these days, despite my desire to lose another thirty pounds, but hey.. I’ll take what I can get and dropping two sizes is pretty amazing.
Posted in Health & Safety | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 17th, 2010 |
Tomorrow is our local Relay for Life. I have walked every year faithfully since my sophomore year of high school (10 years) and am sadly not going to be able to take part in the walk this weekend. My heart sunk in my chest when I realized I would be missing out. You see, this year I have every reason to walk. My ex-mother in-law is a breast cancer survivor and my best friend’s aunt has been diagnosed malignant Mesothelioma.
It is strange how many years I have walked for no one in particular and when I have someone to support, I will not be able to make it. But I made plans that cannot be broken and still, I find myself devastated.
Posted in Health & Safety | No Comments »
Monday, May 31st, 2010 |
Dear Skin,
I think we need to have a little talk, don’t you? I hate how sensitive you are. I hate how easily I get burned and how just one little speck of sweat can turn into a pimple playground. I bruise super easily and my skin tears when I get hurt. I know you protect me from more severe injuries, but really, could you do me just one favor? I am no longer in high school– I have excellent hygiene and take very good care of you. I am tired of trying out various types of acne medicine to keep you away. Skin, I love you, whole downheartedly, I just need you to meet someplace in the middle.
Love,
me.
Posted in Health & Safety | No Comments »
Friday, May 14th, 2010 |
For those of you who do not know, I will be attending BlogHer ‘10 in New York this year (Who else is attending?). Which is my sudden motivation for wanting to lose weight before attending. You know, with my 30 Day Shred DVD, temptations with wanting to use weight loss products and all this healthy eating. Except the ice cream because really? It’s a staple in this household. We always have ice cream in the house. What diet/exercise tips do you have for quicker results? I am not expecting a miracle, I just need to lose more around my midsection. The 30 Day Shred has helped some with this area, but I am looking for better results. Granted, I could continue with the 30 Day Shred and probably seek the results I am looking for, but Jillian Michaels and I need to take a break. We’ve spent far too many days together up to this point.
Posted in Health & Safety | No Comments »
