Mama Knows Best

Too much fun, what’s that mean.

Lately, the kids and I have been having a lot of fun.

Two weeks ago, we took a trip to the zoo with Addison’s school. Both kids enjoyed themselves and loved seeing the animals. They were both able to feed the giraffes, walk around the petting zoo and run wild when there were not too many other people around us. Ethan amazed us all with his stories about Lemurs and Addison screamed “Roo” every time we walked past something that bounced. By the end of the trip, I was making mental notes about various other zoo’s I would like to take the children to this summer.

Last week, I took the kids to our local park. We had hours of fun up town at the park and Ethan made a new friend, who politely informed me that he would be there every Wednesday afternoon. I watched Addison try to climb up the slide the wrong way, Ethan jump from fort balconies and both kids laughing from sheer excitement to be there. Our park is nothing magnificent, but it is a very nice park still. There are lots of things for children Ethan’s age and up to do, which is great, but for the younger ones, not so much.

Taking the kids to do something special each week is a big goal of mine right now. With them gone on the weekends and me gone all day long on Tuesday and Thursday’s, I feel as though I am missing out on a lot of their life. And the guilt of being gone haunts me every time I apply for a job. I am literally developing stress wrinkles (oh, prototype 37c. how i need you.) and stress lines. I just have to keep reminding myself that several single mothers before me were able to do it.

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Another one bites the dust.

Life has thrown so many curve balls in my direction this year that I am stuck in a constant whirlwind, never knowing which end is up.  Things have been moving at such a fast pace and for once (in the last three years), I have found myself insanely happy.  My children still come first and always will, but I am also beginning to put myself first again.

Friday night I celebrated Mama Bear’s college graduation from college.  Mama Bear’s husband is a nice guy and while I know he supports his wife’s decision to go back to school, he has not always made it easy.  So for her to finish and with honors, I was ecstatic!

Saturday was a chaotic day filled with driving, my little brother’s graduation party, more driving, visiting with Melissa, visiting with Doug, Tiffany and Lucas and then home, where I crashed for the night at 11pm and slept until about 10:30am.  Something I have not done in ages!  However, my plans to sleep all day were rudely interrupted by Doug and Lucas requesting special dips for the race that they did not even watch.

And today, well, I got a lot accomplished.  I made decisions regarding mine and the kiddos future. Decisions I am still unsure about, but am willing to tackle head on.  There are a lot of changes that will be taking place in the near future.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Posted in Ethan & Addison, Family & Friends | 5 Comments »

completely random thoughts.

Everything around me lately has been a complete blur. I am running on fumes, doing the best that I can, which most certainly doesn’t feel too good. I have done/said things I am not super proud of and should regret, but I do not. I am stressed beyond words and hanging on with everything I have. My marriage is pretty much over, although, I still need to speak with an attorney to finalize that decision. My body has become a feeding post for mosquito’s. My uterus and bladder are both shot, or so says the doctor. Will be having surgery on both of those things sometime in the next month, if all goes well. Am refusing to have surgery on uterus until doctor agrees to just remove it completely. Classes are still going well, although I have a feeling they will be kicking my butt this week. My nephew had his first baseball game last night and I totally had to miss it because of school, but am looking forward to attending Friday’s game. My grandfather’s joint pain is not getting any better and I am praying for a miracle for him. Seeing him suffer from arthritis pains me. Have so much to say about so many things, but this is totally not the appropriate place for that, which is why I started a new, private journal somewhere on the interwebz. If you want the address, you’ll just have to ask via email.

Posted in Ethan & Addison, Family & Friends, Jeff & Jessica | No Comments »

Decisions, decisions.

When I found out I was pregnant with a little girl, I made the decision to learn how to make tutus, hair accessories and look into sewing classes to make little dresses.  After Addison’s birth, I would take her in to have her pictures taken and people would constantly ask me where I got the tutu’s and hair accessories.  My work is far from perfection, but I believe I do a decent enough job.  I created a small website for all of the locals to visit to see my work and place their orders, but never wanted the business to become super successful because it’s just hard work to do on your own with two little kids running around.

As more and more people asked me, I had to make some decisions about my little hobby.  Do I continue promoting it via door hangers, business cards, flyers and events or do I just have a few business cards printed and hand them as I am asked?  I went with the later, obviously, but has still proven to be successful.  Three of our portrait studios have 10-15 tutus each in their costume closets.  I won’t lie– I am pretty geeked about those numbers!

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Enough is enough.

When I mentioned in my last post that life has thrown me a few curve balls, I did not mean to leave y’all hanging for so long. With the beginning of summer, I have myself so insanely busy with the munchkins, school, some personal matters and spending time with friends. Tiffany, the kids and myself have been watching the guys in all their ridiculousness and laughing our heads off at their attempts of being “manly.”

• Classes are going fairly decent this semester, but I am always bogged down with mountains of homework. I am in class all day on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. By the end of class, I am ready to head home, except that I don’t. I take Lucas to work every Tuesday and Thursday evening after class, then head home myself. Rinse and repeat each week, unless of course, I get those early morning phone calls that he needs a ride home in the mornings.

• Munchkins are fabulous! Both of them are growing and learning so much! Ethan is all set for pre-school and could not be more excited about it. Addison is learning so many new words and pronouncing them very clearly. Both had a follow-up appointment with the dietitian to be sure they were back on track. Ethan is the size of a 6 year old according to the charts and Addison is back into the 60% for height and weight. Hallelujah!

For once, I am putting myself first and taking every opportunity possible. Never again do I want to know what it feels like to be unhappy, so I am making some changes. Some big, some little. I will celebrate my dark circles and enjoy life once again.  Although I am spending the bulk of my time with the same group of people, I am still feeling better.  I am no longer waiting for another person to agree to go places and do things-I am just going.  I am ceasing the moment.

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Head Start & Early Intervention Picnic

Addison, wanting to take part in the ball bounce.

Ethan riding the barrell bull with one of

the early intervention teachers.

Ethan shooting water at the llama poster.

We had such a great time at the picnic, visiting with Addie’s EI teacher, playing with the small farm animals and taking part in crafts and games scattered about throughout the school. Lunch was delicious and was nothing like I expected. By the end of the day, the kids were ready to come home and crash, which they did, for about two hours.

Posted in Ethan & Addison, Photos | 2 Comments »

The Escape Artist

One of Addison’s new talents?  She greets us every morning

by climbing out of her crib, then trying to climb back

up into it when she sees us approaching.

Posted in Ethan & Addison, Photos | 2 Comments »