I feel like I am drowning.

My health, their health, bills piling up without money coming in.  I am constantly in fear of losing my job because of ALL the health problems we have been enduring lately.  I am paying my bills as I have the money, but for the very first time, things are being paid late.  It’s such a sickening feeling.  Every penny I had in my savings is all but gone and we’re holding on as tightly as we can.  Just three weeks ago I was financially stable.. I was able to pay my bills, purchase Christmas presents and now it has all gone down hill.  I am going into work, though I know I need to be home with my babies.  They are so sick and miserable right now.. I hate to leave them and not be here to snuggle them when they wake up in the middle of the night.  But I need the money to continue taking care of them, get them the things they need and to pay our bills.  My job has yet to say anything to me about my attendance, but they will sooner or later.  I have been desperately trying to find a better job– one that offers benefits and if they call my current employer, I am scared of the referral they will give me.  Despite have documentation and doctors notes.

All of this stress is compounding the underlying problems and causing me to want to curl up in a hole.  We need a break.  So please, even if you’re not an overly religious person, say a prayer for our family.